*Poof* *Unpoof*

That’s the sound effects as I do my disappearing & reappearing act on the blogworld.

I shall offer up the usual excuses of Work & Family committments.

Work more so, beacuse of the stress and strain. Reporting to a new boss. The endless work. The deadlines. Impossible demands of clients. There was a time when I used to love my work. I think I still enjoy my work. But I just can’t put in my 100% anymore. I just can’t. I feel the wear and the tear. I feel like there is a burden on my back all the bloody time. I have leave, but find it next to impossible to take more than a day or two off. I haven’t been home for longer than a week in almost 3 years now. I find myself offering excuses to friends rather than making a plan and then having to cancel it yet again.

This time though, I put my foot down for the first time and took 4 days off for my sister’s wedding (that’s a luxury for me since the Courts are open). Spent time with myself. With my mom. With my grandmom. With my huuuge family. Went shopping. Just sat in the winter sun and relaxed with my cousins. Wore lots of saris and cribbed about wearing them. Preened like the proverbial peacock when I got the compliments. Especially when I was told that I looked just like my mom when I wear a sari (she is the family beauty and I’m the also-ran ). Chatted with my grandmother. Did a disappearing act with cousins to go have puchkas at CR Park. Hogged on maach bhaaja (fish fry). And batter fried fish. And fish roll. And maacher kalia (fish curry). And doi maach (fish cooked with curd). And shorshe maach (fish cooked in mustard). And chingri malai curry (prawns cooked with coconut milk). And galda chingri (the biggest tastiest prawns). And kasha mangsho (a mutton preparation). With luchi. And patali gur (date jaggery avaialble only in winters).And tomato chaatni (tomato chutney – no Bong meal is complete without chutni which is eaten as a course in itself). And rosogolla in nolen gurer ros (Rasgullas soaked melted date jaggery). And adda. And cried when I had to wear flats instead of the lovely pencil  heels I had originally planned on wearing with my saris. And showed everyone my sandals & they all dutifully ooohed and aahed over them. Wore a backless blouse with traditional silk sari and scandalised my mother. And she told me to cover up with my shawl because it was cold. And my grandmother told her daughter that when young ladies wear are maaroing tashan, they don’t feel cold (I think she knew about the shots I had taken ). And made endless cups of chair. And danced complete chhapri (I have no idea how to translate that in English, pliss help if you can) songs with everyone watching. And danced on ‘Desi Girl’ with my two year old nephew. Watched another little nephew’s haathe khodi (This is when the child first picks up a pencil/ chalk and is initiated into the lifelong process of learning and is always done on Saraswati Pujo – The Goddess of Learning & Knowledge). And straightened hair as the baraat (groom’s party) arrived. And switched off the fan & whipped off the razais from two 6 footers because they had to be woken up. And got threatened by them later. And had a fight with my mom because I wanted to wear a cream and gold sari. And watched my gandmom shed a few tears & memories since I had worn her mother’s sari. And lots of adda. And my grandaunt wondering who would get married next so that the whole family would meet again. Which is the cue for all those of marriageable age to disappear. And me to change the topic. Which unfortunately moved to when we planned to start a family. Which was my cue to disappear. And for another cousin to then change the topic. Who disappeared when asked why they were not planning on a second child. And we saw all the old ladies laughing away and almost falling off their chairs as they had basically been taking the case of all the grandkids.

Oh well, you guys get the idea now!!!

Time for me to disappear again….*POOF*

PS: Triewd to upload a few photos, but there’s some problem. Will try uploading them later.

I have been really looking forward to the Monday for a change. Now ask why?

Because my mommy is coming to town today. And because I’m on leave from 19th – 22nd for my cousin’s wedding

So I’m going to be getting dressed in saris and hogging on yummy Bong food for the next few days. We youngsters overrode my uncle till he agreed to a party on 20th (rather than a sedate ‘gaan-bajna’ session that bongs usually have – we’v hijacked it to a fullon dhol-dhamaka dance session) and i’v prmised top make everyone dance, including my grandmother.

However, I sprained my ankle a few dyas back so don’t know how much i’l be able to dance myself

And I also can’t wear too much of heels, so i’l have to buys some flats

Anyway i’l still look gooood

Tragedywala Weekend

This weekend was a complete tragedy for me in terms of food. Now before we get started on the woeful  saga (arthath ‘dukhbhari katha’ ) of my weekend, let me bring to your kind attention that I am a self-confessed foodie, whose food interest are however, very much restricted to tried and tested food items. I refuse to venture where I have not gone before. I love eating what I already like to eat. I am very much vocal about my likes and dislikes when it comes to food. Getting me to try out something new is a major task unto itself which few have dared to attempt after their first tries have miserably failed. My roommate of three years in Pune though did manage to introduce me to the joys of gajar ka  halwa, which is probably the only time in history that I have eaten and liked something new.

Now that you know some of the background, I shall begin my dukhbhari katha.

This Saturday, on our way back from work, I proposed a dinner out to the Hujband, who readily agreed (and here I was all set to build my case for dinner out). The only condition being I had to decide where to go since he wasn’t in the mood todecide. Thus, we landed up at this super-exclusive Itqlian resteraunt (with an Italian chef) in Gurgaon. We called for some prawn antipasto, which basically turned out to be sadda Dilliwala channa masala with prawns in it. Tolerable. I wanted to try some pasta for the main course, but the host kept telling me to try the “authentic Italian pizza” – it being different from the other American pizzas readily available. On his recommendation, I tried some chicken pizza, which basically turned out to be tomato puree, cheese and boiled chicken. Yes that’s it – no salt, masalas, nothing. My desi taste buds were offened and I was constrained to ask for chilli flakes and oregano which offended the Italian sensibilties of the chef, who personally came out and tried to convince me not to defile it. I sprinkled generous amounts of oregano and chilli flakes etc…but didn’t help. I struggled valiantly though one and a half slices till I gave up. The host tried to convince me for some pasta, but I was obviously very sceptical. He finally recommended chocolate mousse for which I agreed. Only to repent. The chocolate mousse tasted of anything but chocolate.  Apparently, it had a filling of balsamic strawbeery, so the end rest of the mousse was that it just tasted weird – neither chocolate, nor strawberry nor balsamic.

[I ended up having a chicken tikka sandwich and coffee as dinner at DT before we went in for the late night show of 3i (which we were seeing for the second time) and absolutely loved].

Next tragedy was my Sunday lunch when we called for mutton biryani from Deez, but the mutton was not cooked properly and again I couldn’t have it. Called up the Deez guys and gave them an earful and turned down their offer to send another handi.

My last and final tragedy was my Sunday dinner where I made dal, chawal and fish fry. Fish was perfectly fried red and crisp – but had not been cut properly and the fish was bitter

So that sums up my tragedy-wala weekend in terms of food.  

[I demanded good food for lunch the next day at work, as opposed to our usual thali ;P]

 

 PPS: I started drafting this post on Monday, but managed to complete it only today.

I need a breakkkkkkkkk!!!

Most of you know I have bene running myself ragged working for the past few months. I have no idea how and when the year 2009 just flew by. I took about 3 weeks off in the whole year, including a week long trip to Cal during the Pujas, two other weeknd trips, a few days at Kasauli and a few other days here and there.

I finished studying in April 2006 and started working from June 2006. I took 3 weeks off for my wedding in April 2007 and resumed work within  ten days of getting married. I have taken infrequent vacations since then and my longest has been the full week I took in September 2009. I work a six days week, and 45 out of 52 weeks a year, a 7 day week. I have been with the same firm since starting my career. Don’t get me wrong, I am not cribbing about my work, cuz I am one of the rare few who gets to do what I enjoy. I have learnt alot in these three and a half years, which had I been elsewhere, I may not have had the oppurtunity to learn so much, to be given so much responsibility or be asked to take on freshers under my wing and train them. I am lucky to have had good bosses, who have screamed at me and also appreciated me. I have been lucky that i have had a good working environment . There have been times when I have ben very frustrated for not receiving due recognition and have almost upped and quit, but my work and my committment to it have held me back.  I don’t know if I can be called a workaholic, but yes I do love my work and it does give me a high.

Three and a half years may not be a very long time in a career, especially for one who has just started, but there has now come a time when I feel I am missing out on life. I haven’t had much chance to spend time with my parents since I got married considering the fact that my mother and me are both working and both of us have limited leave. I find myself getting stressed out which is taking a toll on my health and if this continues, it will adversely affect my relation with my husband which I most certaionly don’t want. After all, he also has a hectic and stressful job and its not fair on him. I have little time to meet my friends and family, I have missed the wedding of one of my closest friends, I miss travelling,I miss having just the time to while away. The Sundays usually go in household chores and catching up on sleep. Quality time with my husband is the time we spend travelling together to and fro work, that too only when he is not travelling.

I want to take abreak for a few months from all this stress and tension. I want the time to simply putter around my house and my kitchen and indulge in long leisurely hours of mindless television. I want to simply be selfish and have some time to myself. However, my issue is do I ask my boss for a sabbatical, but knowing him, he will not approve of the idea. Arjun sugested the idea of taking a couple of weeks off, but then will I get the rest and peace I need, because I will still end up attending official calls. So my only option then is to quit, take a break and then start job hunting after a month or so.

However, having been a DINK couple, we are used to a certain standard of living and off course, both of us have certain financial commitmments. We can manage comfortable for 2-3 months, but if I don’t get a job by then, I will go bonkers and drive myself and everybody else up the wall. I am seriously wanting to go on a break, bnut but am trying to work out the hows and whys of it. I am not mentally prepared to leave where I work,  but frankly, I see little choice. Companies are hiring again, but I am scared – what if I don’t get another job?

 

I’m cranky.I’m depressed.I’m stressed out. I’m upset.

What’s the point of working my bloody butt flat out but not getting any recognition for the same? Or what is the point of missing out on life while I am working? 20 years down the line will I be able to say that I was there for my friends or will I say that I was stuck at work? I just want to take a good long break free from all the stress and strain which is telling on me.   

Hiiiiii!!!!

Heyloooo!!!! Yes I know I have been away for a superlong while and many of you may ahve actually forgotten me (Me thinks I need to go knock on the proverbial dors again to say “Hi, I’m back”  :P). Btw why am I not getting snowlakes on my blog?

Well, life’s been awfully crazy and hectic.I’v been wokring my ass off and while at it bought a pair of chocolate brown shoes with sexy but suprisingly comfy heels, another brownish/ maroonish gladitaor heels and a sleeveless black sweater from Benetton.

My reporting’s been changed so now I report to a new partner w.e.f 1st December 2009. I have been snowed under (lkeeping in tune with the holiday season) with work. I had to miss a very close friend’s wedding and was almsot in tears earlier this month. We were supposed to go to Jaipur for another friend’s wedding for three days on 22nd of this month, but my boss asked me not to go because of work. And these were two wedings I was really looking forward to – one of roommate of three years from Pune finally geting married to her college sweetheart (which would have been like a mini0-reunion with friends) and the other one’s happening in some fort near Jaipur in full Rajput style.

Alas!!!! Anyway just came out of my files to say Hi to all off you and tell you about my dukhbhari katha.

See ya around soon.And Greetings of the Season!!!! Ho ho ho and all that

Still Alive (Sung to the tune of Stayin Alive)

Still aaliveeeeeeeeeeeee….

Yup I’m still around though not been around your blogs much off late. Kaan pakadke maafi maangi.  I shall conveninetly and truthfully pass he blame onto my sudden incrase in workload, cranky clients, major firefighting on certain fronts and the general apathy and frustration at the way the judicial system functions. I think I should demand extra fees as combat pay & damages for mental harassment. Yes as an advocate I am saying that. It is so frustrating sometimes that I just want to tear all my hair out.

I haven’t bought new shoes in ages. The winters have set in and I desperately need some new sweaters for work (plain black/white V-necks only) cuz I have totally worn out my previous winter clothes bought for work specifically. I also need to get my glasses repaired (the Hujband broke them though he insists he didn’t and I did). I need to get my eyes checked and order a fresh stock of lenses as well before I’m down to my last pair. 

I shall also blame my ill-health thanks to the onset of winter. Winter makes me feel very gloomy and depressed cuz I always get a cold (with fever) & sinus  attack as winter sets in which lingers on for the whole season just to flare up once in a while. Last year the flare-up ruined our New Year’s eve celebrations cuz all I could manage was to cuddle up in my razai and drink lots of hot soup. I demand a 2 month winter vacation, or else I demand that I be allowed to hibernate for this season on full pay.

We’r having a bonfire tonight (in order to defrost me, as one of my friends said)  where we plan to roast some kebabs & alu-pyaz (Seriously try it sometime, they’r yummm). And my Hujband volunteered to get the desert (Hey what’s the pont of having a Bong biwi if she can’t MAKE some meetha?).

What do you guys think of an antique cream & gold tissue sari with a  multi-coloured brocade blouse worn with huge kundan earrings & teeka (I love the big earrings & teeka look with nothing on the neck) for my cousin’s wedding in January????????? My mom’s got issues with me wearing white (Me thinks it might be cuz she’s not too keen on parting with the antique sari and leaving it in my care), but I’m still trying to convince her. She thinks Delhi winters will finally allow me to wear a traditional Kanjeevaram (this being the last wedding of a close relative in the family for sometime to come).

Oh well, over and out for now folks. Work beckons.

PS: Please also send me some bear-hugs which I need even more desperately this weekend. Please don’t ask why (And the Hujband and me are doing great, thank you, before you get any other thoughts). I’l tell you guys about it the next time, but right now I’m trying hard to sound upbeat and cheerful (despite the winters having set in), while I hold my tears back. I cried one round last night already. 

Stuff Which Ought To Have been Posts

This is basically a random bunch of stuff which ought to have been posts, but have instead become various bullets in a post.

• Everyone and their brother is getting married. I don’t have that much leave. Everyone seems to be getting married one after the other. I am taking the next few weeks as the wedding weeks (which reminds me I need to get the bling bling out from the locker).
• We had some friends over for dinner on Sunday night and we had a gala time. I had made chhole, mutton & vegetarian pulao and my MIL had sent some palak-paneer. Everyone also complimented my cooking
• We’d got these cocktail samosas  which I baked in the oven and were yummmm. The second pack turned out to be batata wadas (I had asked the Hujband to pick up two packets of samosas and he just picked up two packets randomly, w/o realising that they weren’t the same thing) which also I baked. Totally ideal for vada pao. I vote for a vada pao, poha & cutting chai party soon. Anyone up?
• Oh and our littlest guest (all of 20 months) had more dip over his clothes & face than what he ate
• We had a lovely blogmeet at ~nm ’s place on 31st october in honour of Monika visiting the capital city & bloggers from NCR all congregated for some lovely food (the pav-bhaji was yummmmm), masti & mazak.  Besides, yours truly, there was the delightful Meira, Neera and How do We Know. The kids were kept busy with some pasta, chocolates & some animated movie on the laptop. It was just like a bunch of old friends meeting and never felt like we were meeting for the first time (I met everyone, except Meira for the first time). I arrived just in time for lunch and immediately put my phone inside the bag so that I wouldn’t get calls from work (So what if its a Saturday? Does the world end my friend? Then how can work stop?)
• I had to leave a little early from the blogmeet cuz I had to go meet my cousin and this one girl whom he was sent to mee by the folks and thereafter had to give my report to them. (Report was positive and yes we did ask “Beta, kya tum khana bana sakti ho? and burst out laughing).
• Same cousin returned home to do nightlong puja of the X-Box Devta with the Hujband while I was made to slave over a hot stove (oven actually since there was no gas)  to make some brownies. They were yummmm…photos were terrible (but I’l give you guys the recipie soon).
• Work has been hectic over the past month for both the Hujband & me…things getting resolved now
• We went for London Dreams last sunday….decent movie. I didn’t like the songs so much in the movie, but they’r the type which grow on you. Salman Khan was rather OTT and irritating at times, Ajay Devgan was good in the ngative aspect, but not so great as a rockstar, Asin was somewhat irritating (though I loved her hair & getup), Rannvijay was surprisingly good.
• I have been a good girl and not done much cuz while I need to pay off my credit cards
• Also tell me guys, (because I have been discussing this issue off late), how much perecentage of your salary do you save/ invest for tomorrow/ rainy day without feeling the pinch on your today? I save a significant chunk of my salary (almost 50%) and so does the Hujband, but I do feel the pinch sometimes. I wonder that being a DINK couple, we find it difficult to save, and I wonder what will we do when we do start a family. I wonder if its worth skipping out on a few things today to save for tomorrow, but then would I still be able to pick up another shoe and deny my child a toy? As in, my needs would then be secondary and not of primary importance as hey are today. Will I then resent that I didn’t do it today when I had h oppurtunity to do so? Does that even make sense or am I just being very slefish?
• Which also brings me to the favourite topic of all Dilli aunties “Beta, good news kab de rahe ho?”. I direct them all to to the Hujband for clarifications.
• Oh and we had this impromptu college reunion last Friday where 4 of us college friends met up cuz one of them had come from out of town and was flying back the same day. He calls me at 11 am and says “Oye Bangali, kaisa hai? Mujhe kya khila rahi hai lunch pe? Milne ka hai re ujhse. Bahut din ho gaye mile hue hum sabko. See you at 1 pm at ______. Byeee” and hung up. He had pulled the same stunt on 2 others and all 4 of us met up to lots of un, laughter & shared memories. We knew he was dating another common friend and one of us generally asked him “K____ kaisi hai?”. To be informed “Biwi theek hai.” The 3 of us yelled the place down with “Tum dono ne shaadi kab ki? Bulaya bhi nahi.” So then he told us of how the parents were objectng so they’d had a court marriage and the parents had finally agreed and that they were still staying seperately because they had promised their parents. The oher patrons in the resteraunt turned around to look at the 3 of us shrieking & yelling at the 4th one and this guy on the next table had to save a bowl  of manchurian from going plop on his head.
• This is the same guy who taught me & another friend gaalis in Marathi when we asked him to teach us some basic Marathi to converse with the bai & the auowalas.
• I need new shoes.

This is Where We Crib

As it is, its difficult for two career-oriented people to take ime out for each other in a marriage. It becomes even more difficult when both the careers suddenly become very demanding at the same time. We returned from our vacation in Calcutta on the 29th of September.

I need a break again. I have no idea how and when this month simply flew by. I’v both been so caught up in work that I’v had little time or energy to spare on anything or anyone else. I return home tired and exhausted at the end of a tiring day after dealing with super-sized cranky egos, doubled & tripled workloads and I just need some peace and quiet at the end of it all. I have been given some new oppurtunities at work and I intend to make the best of them. My boss has told me he expects me to push even harder because he knows that I have it in me. I don’t really have a regular 9 to 5 job. I work on an average of 65 hours a week (not counting Sundays) and I travel about 2 hours daily which means I spend about 12 hours a week travelling.

And Delhi being Delhi, I can’t really tell someone that I would meet them at 10 pm, like I would in Bombay/ Calcutta. I get little time to acually meet up with my friends since we all need to coordinate schedules bigtime and we’r quite used to each other cancelling at the last minute becuase of something which has come up at the last minute. I have been trying to meet Chandni for the past 8 – 9 months and it appears that our meeting is simply jinxed becase I can’t even begin to count the number of times I have had to cancel, and she has been really sweet and understanding about it (Thanks so much Chandu).

So yup this is just one of the cribs you hear from time to time cuz I love what I do – it keeps me going and gives me something to wake upto every morning (and makes me really look forward to my lovely warm cosy bed at 10 pm as well). Thanks for lending me your ears, my fellow bloggers!!!

 

 

Of Diwali, Chicken Biryani, Chocolate Brownies & Other Tales

How was your Diwali? I’m just so thankful that I haven’t become deaf yet.

We bought a new microwave from LG on Dhanteras. We were most excited and popped some corn to inaugarate it. Then , since yours truly was extremely excited about cooking something in her new microwave, we quickly peruse the cookbook (free with the microwave) and decide to make some chicken biryani. The list of ingredients called for whole (sabut) garam masala, boneless chicken, sliced onions, 250 gms of rice and 2 cups of water. The first instruction was to soak the rice in 2 cups of water for half an hour, then drain the water and then boil the rice in the microwave for 5 minutes. Ummmm..while yours truly was wondering whether or not to add water again, the Hujband issued instructions to follow the instructions as it were written and not to use my own discretion. Since yours truly being the good Bharitya nari (since the Hujband shelled out the dough for the microwave – it qualifies as “something” for the kitchen na and we being such foodies n all) decided to follow the instructions exactly as they were written, drained the water and put in the rice for 5 minutes. Result – Toasted rice which yours trule wondered whether briefly whther it could be masqueraded as some oil-free diet muchies at some party and then got dumped in the ol’ faithful bin in the corner 

Next yours truly decided to try her hand at making some chocolate walnut brownies (inspired by the umpteen dry fruit gift boxes given on Diwali). So we hunt for a recipie, take a printout, go to the market during the lunchbreak, speand 500 bucks on raw materials to make it (and feel very proud of making it apne haathon se and vow that henceforth, we shall make yummy deserts at home and save money while we’r at it since my Bong genes have to be kept satisfied). We reach home at 9 pm and quicky make the Hujband some khichdi (in the loyal Hawkins) and then start seiving the maida & melting the chocolate (In the naya microwave bhai). Brief moment of panic when shop next door had run out of eggs, but we got it from the shop down the road. So we seive and we stir ad we melt the butter and whip the eggs and finally we have the yummy batter ready (after we chase the Hujabnd away from the kitchen who is most amused to see everything going on and promising to take pictures next time cuz this time he’s too busy laughing). Then we grease the naya naya Borosil baking dish and pour in the batter (makign sure there is enough left to lick). And then…you sit and wait for the smells to come. 20 minnutes later there’s a ping and feeling very Julia Child & Martha Stewart-ish (only in the cooking from scratch part, not the fraud part) and we take out the dish. Alas!!!! The brownies are still not cooked completely so we put it in for ten minutes, still not cooked completely. Repeat process a couple of times more. Fourth time, you lose patience, enthusiasm wearing off and a quick glance at the clock shows it to be almost midnight and yours truly needing her beauty sleep. So we take out the dish, let it sit for some ten minutes and then take the brownie out. Too soft for a piece t be cut so we use a spoon to scoop some out and feed it to the Hujband who loyally declares it to be the best brownie that he has ever had and so on and so forth. He knows which side his bread is buttered.

And I got complimented by an old uncle with an American accent at a card party for being an honest hard-working person because we were the only who refrained from playng cards (He – because he refuses to gamble with his hard earned dollars and Me – because I am to wary of playing against the Delhi bhaiyas and bhabis who have grown up playing the game). That of course, only lasted till I told him that I was a lawyer by profession. I tell you, we lawyers are a much maligned profession. Give me money, I’l save anyone’s ass – we don’t discriminate on the basis of caste, creed or gender.

Other tales would also include my neighbours having taken the responsibility of making all those in the vicinity deaf and we literally turning a deaf ear for the next couple of days. What happened to the ten pm deadline and decibel limit etc? And the cops also turned a deaf ear to the whole proceedings. We were kept awake late every night till a grand finale with a 100o ki ladi at 2 am for three continuous nights.

Other tales would also include my work having increased  three fold, thanks to some administrative duties (all in the name of team coordination) being given to me. I don’t have an issue with additional responsibility, but this stupid North Indian mentality of refusing to take instructions from a woman makes things very tough for me. After all, how much can I tick someone off for not having done their work or how much can I run behind someone to do their work. I get majorly pissed off when people give me stupid attitude for no reason whatsoever. I am being very mature (*Pat on the back*) and letting them know politely it is not acceptable and that they need to pull up their socks because there is only this one point till when I can cover that person’s ass. Okay ranting over.

End post.