Still Alive (Sung to the tune of Stayin Alive)

Still aaliveeeeeeeeeeeee….

Yup I’m still around though not been around your blogs much off late. Kaan pakadke maafi maangi.  I shall conveninetly and truthfully pass he blame onto my sudden incrase in workload, cranky clients, major firefighting on certain fronts and the general apathy and frustration at the way the judicial system functions. I think I should demand extra fees as combat pay & damages for mental harassment. Yes as an advocate I am saying that. It is so frustrating sometimes that I just want to tear all my hair out.

I haven’t bought new shoes in ages. The winters have set in and I desperately need some new sweaters for work (plain black/white V-necks only) cuz I have totally worn out my previous winter clothes bought for work specifically. I also need to get my glasses repaired (the Hujband broke them though he insists he didn’t and I did). I need to get my eyes checked and order a fresh stock of lenses as well before I’m down to my last pair. 

I shall also blame my ill-health thanks to the onset of winter. Winter makes me feel very gloomy and depressed cuz I always get a cold (with fever) & sinus  attack as winter sets in which lingers on for the whole season just to flare up once in a while. Last year the flare-up ruined our New Year’s eve celebrations cuz all I could manage was to cuddle up in my razai and drink lots of hot soup. I demand a 2 month winter vacation, or else I demand that I be allowed to hibernate for this season on full pay.

We’r having a bonfire tonight (in order to defrost me, as one of my friends said)  where we plan to roast some kebabs & alu-pyaz (Seriously try it sometime, they’r yummm). And my Hujband volunteered to get the desert (Hey what’s the pont of having a Bong biwi if she can’t MAKE some meetha?).

What do you guys think of an antique cream & gold tissue sari with a  multi-coloured brocade blouse worn with huge kundan earrings & teeka (I love the big earrings & teeka look with nothing on the neck) for my cousin’s wedding in January????????? My mom’s got issues with me wearing white (Me thinks it might be cuz she’s not too keen on parting with the antique sari and leaving it in my care), but I’m still trying to convince her. She thinks Delhi winters will finally allow me to wear a traditional Kanjeevaram (this being the last wedding of a close relative in the family for sometime to come).

Oh well, over and out for now folks. Work beckons.

PS: Please also send me some bear-hugs which I need even more desperately this weekend. Please don’t ask why (And the Hujband and me are doing great, thank you, before you get any other thoughts). I’l tell you guys about it the next time, but right now I’m trying hard to sound upbeat and cheerful (despite the winters having set in), while I hold my tears back. I cried one round last night already. 

Stuff Which Ought To Have been Posts

This is basically a random bunch of stuff which ought to have been posts, but have instead become various bullets in a post.

• Everyone and their brother is getting married. I don’t have that much leave. Everyone seems to be getting married one after the other. I am taking the next few weeks as the wedding weeks (which reminds me I need to get the bling bling out from the locker).
• We had some friends over for dinner on Sunday night and we had a gala time. I had made chhole, mutton & vegetarian pulao and my MIL had sent some palak-paneer. Everyone also complimented my cooking
• We’d got these cocktail samosas  which I baked in the oven and were yummmm. The second pack turned out to be batata wadas (I had asked the Hujband to pick up two packets of samosas and he just picked up two packets randomly, w/o realising that they weren’t the same thing) which also I baked. Totally ideal for vada pao. I vote for a vada pao, poha & cutting chai party soon. Anyone up?
• Oh and our littlest guest (all of 20 months) had more dip over his clothes & face than what he ate
• We had a lovely blogmeet at ~nm ’s place on 31st october in honour of Monika visiting the capital city & bloggers from NCR all congregated for some lovely food (the pav-bhaji was yummmmm), masti & mazak.  Besides, yours truly, there was the delightful Meira, Neera and How do We Know. The kids were kept busy with some pasta, chocolates & some animated movie on the laptop. It was just like a bunch of old friends meeting and never felt like we were meeting for the first time (I met everyone, except Meira for the first time). I arrived just in time for lunch and immediately put my phone inside the bag so that I wouldn’t get calls from work (So what if its a Saturday? Does the world end my friend? Then how can work stop?)
• I had to leave a little early from the blogmeet cuz I had to go meet my cousin and this one girl whom he was sent to mee by the folks and thereafter had to give my report to them. (Report was positive and yes we did ask “Beta, kya tum khana bana sakti ho? and burst out laughing).
• Same cousin returned home to do nightlong puja of the X-Box Devta with the Hujband while I was made to slave over a hot stove (oven actually since there was no gas)  to make some brownies. They were yummmm…photos were terrible (but I’l give you guys the recipie soon).
• Work has been hectic over the past month for both the Hujband & me…things getting resolved now
• We went for London Dreams last sunday….decent movie. I didn’t like the songs so much in the movie, but they’r the type which grow on you. Salman Khan was rather OTT and irritating at times, Ajay Devgan was good in the ngative aspect, but not so great as a rockstar, Asin was somewhat irritating (though I loved her hair & getup), Rannvijay was surprisingly good.
• I have been a good girl and not done much cuz while I need to pay off my credit cards
• Also tell me guys, (because I have been discussing this issue off late), how much perecentage of your salary do you save/ invest for tomorrow/ rainy day without feeling the pinch on your today? I save a significant chunk of my salary (almost 50%) and so does the Hujband, but I do feel the pinch sometimes. I wonder that being a DINK couple, we find it difficult to save, and I wonder what will we do when we do start a family. I wonder if its worth skipping out on a few things today to save for tomorrow, but then would I still be able to pick up another shoe and deny my child a toy? As in, my needs would then be secondary and not of primary importance as hey are today. Will I then resent that I didn’t do it today when I had h oppurtunity to do so? Does that even make sense or am I just being very slefish?
• Which also brings me to the favourite topic of all Dilli aunties “Beta, good news kab de rahe ho?”. I direct them all to to the Hujband for clarifications.
• Oh and we had this impromptu college reunion last Friday where 4 of us college friends met up cuz one of them had come from out of town and was flying back the same day. He calls me at 11 am and says “Oye Bangali, kaisa hai? Mujhe kya khila rahi hai lunch pe? Milne ka hai re ujhse. Bahut din ho gaye mile hue hum sabko. See you at 1 pm at ______. Byeee” and hung up. He had pulled the same stunt on 2 others and all 4 of us met up to lots of un, laughter & shared memories. We knew he was dating another common friend and one of us generally asked him “K____ kaisi hai?”. To be informed “Biwi theek hai.” The 3 of us yelled the place down with “Tum dono ne shaadi kab ki? Bulaya bhi nahi.” So then he told us of how the parents were objectng so they’d had a court marriage and the parents had finally agreed and that they were still staying seperately because they had promised their parents. The oher patrons in the resteraunt turned around to look at the 3 of us shrieking & yelling at the 4th one and this guy on the next table had to save a bowl  of manchurian from going plop on his head.
• This is the same guy who taught me & another friend gaalis in Marathi when we asked him to teach us some basic Marathi to converse with the bai & the auowalas.
• I need new shoes.

This is Where We Crib

As it is, its difficult for two career-oriented people to take ime out for each other in a marriage. It becomes even more difficult when both the careers suddenly become very demanding at the same time. We returned from our vacation in Calcutta on the 29th of September.

I need a break again. I have no idea how and when this month simply flew by. I’v both been so caught up in work that I’v had little time or energy to spare on anything or anyone else. I return home tired and exhausted at the end of a tiring day after dealing with super-sized cranky egos, doubled & tripled workloads and I just need some peace and quiet at the end of it all. I have been given some new oppurtunities at work and I intend to make the best of them. My boss has told me he expects me to push even harder because he knows that I have it in me. I don’t really have a regular 9 to 5 job. I work on an average of 65 hours a week (not counting Sundays) and I travel about 2 hours daily which means I spend about 12 hours a week travelling.

And Delhi being Delhi, I can’t really tell someone that I would meet them at 10 pm, like I would in Bombay/ Calcutta. I get little time to acually meet up with my friends since we all need to coordinate schedules bigtime and we’r quite used to each other cancelling at the last minute becuase of something which has come up at the last minute. I have been trying to meet Chandni for the past 8 – 9 months and it appears that our meeting is simply jinxed becase I can’t even begin to count the number of times I have had to cancel, and she has been really sweet and understanding about it (Thanks so much Chandu).

So yup this is just one of the cribs you hear from time to time cuz I love what I do – it keeps me going and gives me something to wake upto every morning (and makes me really look forward to my lovely warm cosy bed at 10 pm as well). Thanks for lending me your ears, my fellow bloggers!!!

 

 

Of Diwali, Chicken Biryani, Chocolate Brownies & Other Tales

How was your Diwali? I’m just so thankful that I haven’t become deaf yet.

We bought a new microwave from LG on Dhanteras. We were most excited and popped some corn to inaugarate it. Then , since yours truly was extremely excited about cooking something in her new microwave, we quickly peruse the cookbook (free with the microwave) and decide to make some chicken biryani. The list of ingredients called for whole (sabut) garam masala, boneless chicken, sliced onions, 250 gms of rice and 2 cups of water. The first instruction was to soak the rice in 2 cups of water for half an hour, then drain the water and then boil the rice in the microwave for 5 minutes. Ummmm..while yours truly was wondering whether or not to add water again, the Hujband issued instructions to follow the instructions as it were written and not to use my own discretion. Since yours truly being the good Bharitya nari (since the Hujband shelled out the dough for the microwave – it qualifies as “something” for the kitchen na and we being such foodies n all) decided to follow the instructions exactly as they were written, drained the water and put in the rice for 5 minutes. Result – Toasted rice which yours trule wondered whether briefly whther it could be masqueraded as some oil-free diet muchies at some party and then got dumped in the ol’ faithful bin in the corner 

Next yours truly decided to try her hand at making some chocolate walnut brownies (inspired by the umpteen dry fruit gift boxes given on Diwali). So we hunt for a recipie, take a printout, go to the market during the lunchbreak, speand 500 bucks on raw materials to make it (and feel very proud of making it apne haathon se and vow that henceforth, we shall make yummy deserts at home and save money while we’r at it since my Bong genes have to be kept satisfied). We reach home at 9 pm and quicky make the Hujband some khichdi (in the loyal Hawkins) and then start seiving the maida & melting the chocolate (In the naya microwave bhai). Brief moment of panic when shop next door had run out of eggs, but we got it from the shop down the road. So we seive and we stir ad we melt the butter and whip the eggs and finally we have the yummy batter ready (after we chase the Hujabnd away from the kitchen who is most amused to see everything going on and promising to take pictures next time cuz this time he’s too busy laughing). Then we grease the naya naya Borosil baking dish and pour in the batter (makign sure there is enough left to lick). And then…you sit and wait for the smells to come. 20 minnutes later there’s a ping and feeling very Julia Child & Martha Stewart-ish (only in the cooking from scratch part, not the fraud part) and we take out the dish. Alas!!!! The brownies are still not cooked completely so we put it in for ten minutes, still not cooked completely. Repeat process a couple of times more. Fourth time, you lose patience, enthusiasm wearing off and a quick glance at the clock shows it to be almost midnight and yours truly needing her beauty sleep. So we take out the dish, let it sit for some ten minutes and then take the brownie out. Too soft for a piece t be cut so we use a spoon to scoop some out and feed it to the Hujband who loyally declares it to be the best brownie that he has ever had and so on and so forth. He knows which side his bread is buttered.

And I got complimented by an old uncle with an American accent at a card party for being an honest hard-working person because we were the only who refrained from playng cards (He – because he refuses to gamble with his hard earned dollars and Me – because I am to wary of playing against the Delhi bhaiyas and bhabis who have grown up playing the game). That of course, only lasted till I told him that I was a lawyer by profession. I tell you, we lawyers are a much maligned profession. Give me money, I’l save anyone’s ass – we don’t discriminate on the basis of caste, creed or gender.

Other tales would also include my neighbours having taken the responsibility of making all those in the vicinity deaf and we literally turning a deaf ear for the next couple of days. What happened to the ten pm deadline and decibel limit etc? And the cops also turned a deaf ear to the whole proceedings. We were kept awake late every night till a grand finale with a 100o ki ladi at 2 am for three continuous nights.

Other tales would also include my work having increased  three fold, thanks to some administrative duties (all in the name of team coordination) being given to me. I don’t have an issue with additional responsibility, but this stupid North Indian mentality of refusing to take instructions from a woman makes things very tough for me. After all, how much can I tick someone off for not having done their work or how much can I run behind someone to do their work. I get majorly pissed off when people give me stupid attitude for no reason whatsoever. I am being very mature (*Pat on the back*) and letting them know politely it is not acceptable and that they need to pull up their socks because there is only this one point till when I can cover that person’s ass. Okay ranting over.

End post.

Made-up!!!!!

No, Arjun and me did not have a fight to begin with.

Just that the firm with which I work has been merged with another firm.

One of our major worries is that we’r the most unconcerned office folks ever. The only make-up which we do use on a regular basis – sunscreen, kajal & lipgloss (if we’r going for a meeting). We just about manage to keep ourselves looking presentable. We’r not shabby, but we’r not really particular about our dressing. We ask each other what’s the ocassion if someone wears something new. Most people in corporate firms are very tip-top - the warpaint & the blow-dried hair & the 4 inch heels – the works basically.

We were just having a major roundtable discussion on how we will need to hold our own with our new colleagues, which means getting up an hour earlier to don the warpaint & blowdry the hair (whatever little I have left). I need to dig out the old stuff which I had bought/ got during my marriage. Arjun wants to know what goop I’v put on my face on the red-letter day that I do wear any.  Aiiyyyooo…I’l need to learn how to start applying eye-liner & masacara and other stuff which I barely know about. Hellppppppp!!!!!!!!

Of Honesty with your Work & Other Tales

One thing my parents always told me is to be honest with my work – whether it was studies or doing my chores around the house or anything else that I did. This was the first thing which I was told on my first day of my first internship as well by my then mentor. He told me that if I was not honest with my work, it would show and I would be the ultimate loser.

Don’t cut corners so that you can leave ten minutes early. Go the extra mile. Study the file completely. Make your own reference notes. Take a coffee break when you need to but don’t stretch it too long when you have work piled up on your table. Whethere its research or drafting, check it completely before you give it in. Know your file. Be sure of the facts. Know the dates. Don’t hesitate to clarify if your unsure about something. Eat up the client’s head if you need to – that’s what he’s paying you for. Think out of the box but back it up with logic & law. Read up the latest judgements/ noifications/ amendments. When you fail to do this, it reflects on your work. Present you facts clearly. Pay attention to the details. No work is too big or too small. Do things one step at a time – read the facts, do the researcg, check the latest updates, draft, vet it, settle the draft. Be proud of your work.

I learnt this during my internships & later, when I stepped out of college and began my career with the bar. It has always stood me in good stead.  This is something I also tell my juniors. Abd when someone is no honest with their work, I fail to understand why. It shocks me (And I’m not talking about ass-lickers here – just people who’r plain and simple lazy to do their work). Maybe I’m just old-fashioned, because I am informed that this is how it works today. I refuse to accept that – it never worked that way yesterday, and it won’t work like that tomorrow.

On a more pleasant note. I had a good mid-week break (Friday), a working Saturday and a lazy Sunday. Friday, I met Meira. She’d come home for dinner – we had some good girl talk and dinner. And she said i’m an awesome cook & I have a lovely house too – Thanks Meira : )

Saturday was a usual working day, though we did go for a leisurely office lunch.

Sunday night, we did a potluck dinner with friends where thir little soon licked up all the ketchup with his finger and had ketchup all over himself and elsewhere as well

Monday morning – work as usual.

 

 

Letter to my Single & Unmarried Friends

Dear Single & Unmarried Friends,

Marriage isn’t all that bad you know – to have someone who loves you & accepts you in spite of all the farts, burps, pimples, hairy legs, and PMS.  I got married relatively early (barely a year out of college) and am now experienced while many of you are now starting the whole battle with your folks. I get alot of questions from you guys asking WHY MARRIAGE?

I try to answer all your questions.

Are you ready for it? You will never know you’re ready till you do it. Don’t say no it just for the sake of saying no. The more you think about whether or not you’re ready for it, the more you psych yourself out. Don’t think so much. You know what Nike says – just do it.

What if you don’t like the person? If you’re not dating someone and you parents have asked you to meet someone, go ahead meet the person – you never know when and where you meet your Mr. or Ms. Right. I met my Mr. Right at a dinner party at my parent’s friend’s place which my mom made me attend after exercising her full parental authority (but the fact that we liked each other enough to get married was a big surprise for the parents). Despite all prima facie opinions, they are your parents and know you somewhat and will only want the best for you. Give the person your parents have chosen, a fair chance (and this also means no comparison with exes). And if you still don’t like the person, tell him/ her that and move on.

Will your life change after marriage? Yes it will – how much depends on the two of you.

Will there be adjustments and compromise? Yes there will be. By both of you.

Why should you get married? I can’t tell you that, but I can tell you that after a few years those most of those friends who paint the town red with you today, will in all probability be married and may even have a kid or two and lead their own lives and not be able to meet up with you everyday for drinks at that new pub.

Will there be fights? Yes there will be fights. There may even be a few glasses broken, but it’s not the end of the world. Kiss and make up. That’s the fun of it.

What if you don’t like the in-laws? If you really really think this person is the one for you, then make an attempt to like them – with all their little foibles. Do the little things which will endear you to them. No daddy will ever think any guy deserves his little girl and no mother will ever think that any girl is good enough for her son. Especially if they’re Indian. And if you’re not sure about the person or his/ her parents, then look for someone else more your type – because in India, you don’t marry he person, you marry his/ her family. This will save you and a whole lot of other people a lot of pain and heartbreak in the future. And ladies, run far far away from those guys (and their folks) who want to know what you’ll be brining from your father’s house – these kind of people are never going to be happy.

Will you in-laws be like a second set of parents? Again depends on your particular set. They may not like her wearing the spaghetti or his smoking/ boozing, but at the end of the day, if you love their prince/ princess they’ll learn to love you.

Will you change after marriage? My close friends tell me that I have changed – I have become more mature – I actually keep clothes in the cupboard now and not dumped on the chair. My not-so-close friends tell me that I have not changed – I am still the bright, chirpy, chatterbox they knew. You will change with time & circumstances, but don’t become a whole new person.

Will there be breakfast in bed? If there isn’t, demand it

What if he wants to watch Rambo and she wants to watch Pretty Woman? Compromise is the name of the game. Watch A Few Good Men.

What’s the difference between marriage & a live-in?  Why all these mindless boring endless rituals? My take is all this is to drive in the commitment and the strength of it. One may walk out of a live-in after a fight, but it’s not that easy when you’re married. And yes, your parents whether you like it or not do have to live by some societal pressures. And this is India – where people want to know how much you earn and why did that couple on the second floor get divorced. These endless rituals are also why divorce in India is still low – no one wants to go through it all again. Besides your family & friends just want a free party.

Why does he watch all these stupid cricket matches when you want to watch your K-serials? Negotiate – you give some, you take some.

Will she buy more shoes/clothes/bags and will he buy gadgets/ tech stuff? Yes, if they have been doing till date they will continue to do so, despite all that you say. 

Think about it. Remember when you tried your first drink? You were ready to try it weren’t you? Give this also a try. At least open your mind to the idea of marriage. And also remember that to find your prince/ princess you’ll have to probably have to hunt through the frogs & toads first.

If you’re still not okay with him/ her after having taken the first step, you still have time to say No before the seven steps around the fire. Say ‘No’ if you wan. Don’t go ahead with it only because the cards have been sent or because the relatives have booked their tickets or because “What will people say?” At the end of the day, you’re the one who has to live your life.

Best of luck…and don’t forget to invite me to your weddings.

 

Love

You’re Married for 2.5 years friend

 

PS: The questions never end. Right after the one ‘When are you getting married?’ is the ‘So when do we get to hear some “good news”?

Welcome To My New Abode

Hellooo peoples…Welcome to my new abode. Since parts of the site are still under construction, kindly adjust.

As you all now see, I have now switched alliance from Blogger to WordPress. Still getting the hang of it (While we’r at it, can someone please tell me how to incerase font size in my posts and also that of the links on my blogroll; and also how to bring the links for the multiple Pages on top from its existing place on the right side?)

By the way, a Subha Bijoya to all you. I had a wonderful trip to Cal this time - little shopping, lots of pandal hopping, lots of adda, quality time with the folks, major hogging, little sari wearing (saris and me are not conducive to pandal hopping), loads of mishti, the joy of knowing that I didn’t have to go to work for a whole week was simply bliss. (Details on another post)

Returned on Tuesday morning to work – lots of changes happening around here, including various administrative policies. (We’r most worried about the change in the leave policy – thank God I took a week off now). Let’s see what happens. We’r keeping our fingers crossed cuz it sure promises to be a bumpy ride.

Traffic Karma

I have bad traffic karma.

(I also have bad ‘my bag is always the last bag to come out after a flight’ karma while we’r at it).

 

 

If there is a traffic jam, I have to be stuck in it. If there is a pile-up thanks to some car which has broken down ahead, yes yes I will be there in the middle of that pile-up, tearing my hair out and station-hopping hoping to find some good music playing and not some stupid RJ going on yadda yadda  nonstop (Btw why do they all sound so bright and chirpy, don’t you just feel like strangling them ever).

 

 

When it pours and the traffic (obviously) goes bonkers, I am caught up in the worst of it. My new record is 6 hours on the road. And everytime that I am suffering my bad traffic karma, my husband who has excellent traffic karma (and he refuses to pass some onto me to even things out) is either working from home that day or he is travelling. My trafic karma also extends to my train travels.

 

Yesterday, after I was stuck in Gurgaon for two hours and hadn’t even managed to reach the toll plaza, I took an U-turn home, picked up MIL, changed from my black-n-whites into some friendly tattered denims & old tee and the two of us took off for the salon where we spent a good 4 hours. You know what they say, when life gives you lemons you make lemonade

 

What’s your traffic karma?

Ooopsss!!!

We plan and we plan and we coordinate schedules and we meet a friend for lunch at this Thai place in the Defence Colony Market for a Friday which in itself is a major achievement.

 

 

Said friend shows me her new ring on the left hand and we do the required ‘Ooohhs’ and ‘Aaaahs’ as that was he main purpose of the lunch. We do the yak-yak thing where we discuss clothes and shoes and her recent trip to USA and my Mahabaleshwar trip and I tell her all about my new grey block heeled suede shoes (some ooohing and aaahing required here from you guys) while we eat the spring rolls (chicken) and drink our coke, have the main course (Thai red curry for her & Basil chicken for me), share a desert (brownies with ice cream & lots of hot chocolate sauce). And then we call for the check.

 

 

Which is when we realise that between the two of us we only have 500 bucks and no card. Ooooops.

 

 

We call the waiter and explain the situation to him, so we run down to get into her car and quickly drive to my office, which is when we realise the said car also has a puncture. Oooooops.