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Friend.Chocoholic.Tantrum-thrower.Child.Woman.Whatever !!!!!!!!

Posts Tagged ‘work

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its been a while since i posted. a long while. its the same old, same old – work and life keeping me busy. i see others posting and commenting regularly. hats off to them. there are so many things i want to say and so many things which i can’t.

i am disturbed about an incident which took place at work yesterday. from the time that i have started working, i have consciously kept away from internal politics everywhere. internal politics is a part and parcel of every workplace, but i always made it clear that i didn’t indulge in it and refused to be a party to it. however, when there was no other option but to be a part of it, i had to be. when i started heading a team, i consciously kept the channels open for my colleagues to bring their issues to me. i have often been called upon to even mediate internal issues between various departments. i have given them all support. unfortunately this was thrown back at ¬†my face yesterday by a colleague. all my other colleagues have said that i couldn’t have been more fair than i was, and not to take it to heart. unfortunately i have. i am well aware that this is not my fault, there is no guilt whatsoever, but more a feeling of being let down – a breach of trust to say.

there is also a sense of unease somewhere. i just feel that there is something which is going to go very wrong. not at work. but otherwise. i wish god would give me a sign somewhere to reassure me that i am wrong. maybe its just me being me. i don’t know.


Written by SupMM

May 23, 2012 at 2:56 pm

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Hitting the Ground Running

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Its been 3 weeks since I started my new job. Its been a huuuuge change for me in more ways than one – some good and well some better ūüôā

I hit the ground running from the day I joined. Its been¬† a whole different ball game for me – the work is the same and yet its different.¬†The setup is entirely different from what I am familiar with. I had to learn terms like ‘vertical’ and ‘super area’ and ‘CAM’ etc. I learnt how to balance the legal angle with the commercial angle. Actually I am still learning. I was on the job from Day 1 – a job where the previous guy before me had quit a while back, pending work, the guy¬†reporting to me down with dengue so it meant my having to¬†figure out ¬†alot of stuff on my own through trial and error.¬† The good part is thhat its¬† really close to my house – it takes me 15 minutes if I leave before 9 am and 40 minutes after 9 am. And I have Saturdays off ūüôā

The one thing which I really do miss here (besides not going to Court) and which kept me going in my previous firm was my friends there. I made some very close friends there and we’d cover up for each other. I don’t see that happening here. My new colleagues are fun, but I miss my old friends – our horsing around, arguing a point of law at the top of our voices, rushing off to the library to gossip, the eating & hogging, the impromptu visits to Morrisson, going to Lajpat & Khan Market during lunch. I hope to make some friends here soon. I already made a few of them come with me to Nirulas one of these days for ice cream. And I am trying to convince everyone to wear a sari one of the days next week because I ma going to be very depressed since I am not going to Cal this time for Pujo. I am super depressed because of that.

Written by SupMM

October 5, 2010 at 11:57 pm

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Getting over a one & half month weekend!!!

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We have some news people….we return to the world of the earning & employed tomorrow. We are no longer the Great Unemployed from 13.09.2010 onwards. My one and half month weekend comes to an end. Getting severe Monday morning blues. Also a little bit of excitement & nervousness in equal parts. There is the excitement of joining somewhere new – new challenges, new people, a fresh start. There is also the nervousness of moving out of my comfort zone, moving into a whole different setup from¬†what I am used to,¬†the expected politics, leading a new team, the people etc.

I am glad I took this time out for myself and regained some of what I had lost out working crazy hours and practically no weekends. It took a severe toll on my health, apart from the fact that I had not had a proper break of more¬†than 4-5¬†days at a stretch.¬†I spent some¬†good time with my parents in Calcutta¬†and when I got back to Gurgaon, I came down with a regular cold & cough which left me feeling extremely weak & listless, despite the rest and care that I took.¬† It took me quite a while to bounce back. I see another friend of mine who has been put on a compulsory 2 week bed rest by the doctors because her body has completely broken down from the stress, work pressure & long irregular hours. I don’t want to be there at the age of 27. I spent lots of time with¬†the Hujband. And I learnt that being sincere towards one’s work always pays in the long run but there is a line I need to draw somewhere between work & life. I have enjoyed this period of doing aboslutely nothing & whiling away days. I did some bit of cooking but mostly spent time with myself. I think I am my own best company. Yes I know that sounds narcisstic. But its a fact. It took some courage to quit my job without another job in hand. But i didn’t regret it for even one moment. (Except the part where I couldn’t shop as I had to cut down on my frivolous expenditure).

The Hujband took me out to celebrate the day I signed the papers. I also shopped finally after ages. I bought two t-shirts & two formal shirts. Oh! And neither of the shirts are white or black & white. I have no idea what non-formal Indian formals are like. I have only bought white/ black & white suits for the past four years. Currently my entire work¬† wear is black & white. I am looking forward to wearing coloured formals. And having a 5 day week. And regular working hours. We rounded off the super long month & half weekend with a rocking party to bring in the Hujband’s 33rd birthday. Or as he puts it he is 16 years old with 17 years experience ūüėõ

So its back to work for me tomorrow.


Written by SupMM

September 12, 2010 at 8:36 pm

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Sue Me!!! I Am Selfish!!!

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Ever since I have decided to¬†take a sabbatical, I have had people wondering about whether we’r starting a family and if we are, then getting upset because we haven’t told them about it. I have had random people message me, ping me on FB and call me to ask how many months along am I. How weird and how rude is that? They jumped to their own conclusions and think its rude when I get offended. What strated as a joke has snowballed into something else all together. How difficult is is to understand that I have taken some time off for myself – to sleep, eat, cook, bake, read, write, do up my house, take driving lessons, learn a new language. I know most people don’t generally take some time off right when their career starts peaking, but¬†I did it. I was kind of freaked out at thinking I hadn’t really done anything new since I started working. I don’t have kids right now. I do nothing all day if I so choose or I maybe a whirlwind doing twenty things in one day. And no I haven’t taken time off to get pregnant either. The Hujband tells me to enjoy this time because we don’t know when¬†I would ever get time off like this.

If that is selfish, then yes I am selfish. Sue me.

Written by SupMM

September 3, 2010 at 10:25 am

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600+ pages

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Happy Ambedkar Jayanti. Its a gazetted holiday. Mostly everyone is enjoying their siesta at home on this mid-week chutti.

And I’m wading through 600+ pages of documents. Life is bloody unfair.

My conference this evening has been simply adjourned postponed to tomorrow. I don’t even feel like studying the documents now. But if I don’t do it now, I’m sooooo going to repent tomorrow. I need to get back to wading through those 600+pages of documents. Like I said life is unfair. The boss has also not come though he’s been announcing he’s going to be coming today.

Ok enough procrastination. I royally need to get down to those 600+ pages of documents now. I’m going to be cross-eyed. I demand combat pay fo9r getting cross eyed. As you must have figured, I’m writing this post just so I want have to study those 600+ pages. Can I not outsource my work? I need a junior whom I can bully. My juniors say I’m an easy senior since I don’t usually kick ass so when I do kick ass they know its something earth-shattering. In our team, I’m like the ‘dad’ who raises his voice only when its something major. My colleague is the ‘mom’ who pulls them up as and when required.

So I am now going to get back to my back-breaking donkey work and you’l be seeing a cross-eyed me next time. Ok fine I’m getting back to my 600+ pages now (I stopped paginating after I crossed 600).

Written by SupMM

April 14, 2010 at 3:55 pm

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*Poof* *Unpoof*

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That’s the sound effects as I do my disappearing & reappearing act on the blogworld.

I shall offer up the usual excuses of Work & Family committments.

Work more so, beacuse of the stress and strain. Reporting to a new boss. The endless work. The deadlines. Impossible demands of clients. There was a time when I used to love my work. I think I still enjoy my work. But I just can’t put in my 100% anymore.¬†I just can’t. I feel the wear and the tear. I feel like there is a burden on my back all the bloody time. I have leave, but find it next to impossible to take more than a day or two off. I haven’t been home for longer than a week in almost¬†3 years now. I find myself offering excuses to friends rather than making a plan and then having to cancel it yet again.

This time though, I put my foot down for the first time and took 4 days off for my sister’s wedding (that’s a luxury for me since the Courts are open).¬†Spent time with myself. With my mom. With my¬†grandmom. With my huuuge family. Went shopping. Just sat in the winter sun and relaxed with my cousins. Wore lots of saris and cribbed about wearing them. Preened like the proverbial peacock when I got the compliments. Especially when I was told that I looked just like my mom when I wear a sari (she is the family beauty and I’m the also-ran :P). Chatted with my grandmother. Did a disappearing act with cousins to go have puchkas at CR Park. Hogged on maach bhaaja (fish fry). And batter fried fish. And fish roll. And maacher kalia (fish curry).And doi maach (fish cooked with curd). And shorshe maach (fish cooked in mustard). And chingri malai curry (prawns cooked¬†with coconut milk).And galda chingri (the biggest tastiest prawns). And kasha mangsho (a mutton preparation). With luchi. And patali gur (date jaggery avaialble only in winters).And tomato chaatni (tomato chutney – no Bong meal is complete without chutni which is eaten as a course in itself). And rosogolla in nolen gurer ros (Rasgullas soaked melted¬†date jaggery).¬†And adda. And cried when I had to wear flats instead of the lovely pencil ¬†heels I had originally planned on wearing with my saris. And showed everyone my sandals & they all dutifully ooohed and aahed over them. Wore a backless blouse with traditional silk sari and scandalised my mother. And she told me to cover up with my shawl because it was cold. And my grandmother told her daughter that when young ladies wear are maaroing tashan, they don’t feel cold (I think she knew about the shots I had taken :P). And made endless cups of chair. And danced complete chhapri (I have no idea how to translate that in English, pliss help if you can) songs with everyone watching. And danced on ‘Desi Girl’ with my two year old nephew. Watched another little nephew’s haathe khodi (This is when the child first picks up a pencil/ chalk and is initiated into the lifelong process of learning and is always done on Saraswati Pujo – The Goddess of Learning & Knowledge). And straightened hair as the baraat (groom’s party) arrived. And switched off the fan & whipped off the razais from two 6 footers because they had to be woken up. And got threatened by them later. And had a fight with my mom because I wanted to wear a cream and gold sari. And watched my gandmom shed a few tears & memories since¬†I had worn her mother’s sari. And lots of adda. And my grandaunt wondering who would get married next so that the whole family would meet again. Which is the cue for all those of marriageable age to disappear. And me to change the topic. Which unfortunately moved to when we planned to start a family. Which was my cue to disappear. And for another cousin to then change the topic. Who disappeared when asked why they were not planning on a second child. And we saw all the old ladies laughing away and almost falling off their chairs as they had basically been taking the case of all the grandkids.

Oh well, you guys get the idea now!!!

Time for me to disappear again….*POOF*

PS: Triewd to upload a few photos, but there’s some problem. Will try uploading them later.

Written by SupMM

February 8, 2010 at 3:49 pm

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I need a breakkkkkkkkk!!!

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Most of you know I have bene running myself ragged working for the past few months. I have no idea how and when the year 2009 just flew by. I took about 3 weeks off in the whole year, including a week long trip to Cal during the Pujas, two other weeknd trips, a few days at Kasauli and a few other days here and there.

I finished studying in April 2006 and started working from June 2006. I took 3 weeks off for my wedding in April 2007 and resumed work within¬† ten days of getting married. I have taken infrequent vacations since then and my longest has been the full week I took in September 2009. I work a six days week, and 45 out of 52 weeks a year, a 7 day week. I have been with the same firm since starting my career. Don’t get me wrong,¬†I am not cribbing about my work, cuz I am one of the rare few who gets to do what¬†I enjoy. I have learnt alot in these three and a half years, which had I been elsewhere, I may not have had the oppurtunity to learn so much, to be given so much responsibility or¬†be asked to take on freshers under my wing and train them. I am lucky to have had good bosses, who have screamed at me and also appreciated me. I have been lucky that i have had a good working environment . There have been times when I have ben very frustrated for not receiving due recognition and have almost upped and quit, but my work and my committment to it have held me back. ¬†I don’t know if I can be called a workaholic, but yes I do love my work and it does give me a high.

Three and a half years may not be a very long time in a career, especially for one who has just started, but there has now come a time when I feel I am missing out on life. I haven’t had much chance to spend time with my parents since I got married considering the fact that my mother and me are both working and both of us have limited leave. I find myself getting stressed out which is taking a toll on my health and if this continues, it will adversely affect my relation with my husband which I most certaionly don’t want. After all, he also has a hectic and stressful job and its not fair on him. I have little time to meet my friends and family, I have missed the wedding of one of my closest friends, I miss travelling,I¬†miss having just the time to while away. The Sundays usually go in household chores and catching up on sleep. Quality time with my husband is the time we spend travelling together to and fro work, that too only when he is not travelling.

I want to take abreak for a few months from all this stress and tension. I want the time to simply putter around my house and my kitchen and indulge in long leisurely hours of mindless television. I want to simply be selfish and have some time to myself. However, my issue is do I ask my boss for a sabbatical, but knowing him, he will not approve of the idea. Arjun sugested the idea of taking a couple of weeks off, but then will I get the rest and peace I need, because I will still end up attending official calls. So my only option then is to quit, take a break and then start job hunting after a month or so.

However, having been a DINK couple, we are used to a certain standard of living and off course, both of us have certain financial commitmments. We can manage comfortable for 2-3 months, but if I don’t get a job by then, I will¬†go bonkers and drive myself and everybody else up the wall. I am seriously wanting to go on¬†a break, bnut but am trying to work out the hows and whys of it. I am not mentally prepared to leave where¬†I work, ¬†but frankly, I see little choice. Companies are hiring again, but I am scared – what if¬†I don’t get another job?

Written by SupMM

January 6, 2010 at 5:54 pm

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