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Friend.Chocoholic.Tantrum-thrower.Child.Woman.Whatever !!!!!!!!

Posts Tagged ‘marriage

99Labels Wedding Week Blogging Contest

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Chandu from Bohemian Rhapsody has requested her friends to participate in the 99Labels Wedding Week Contest (and also cuz she’s promised to split the points earned with me and share the free shopping :P) and also because she thinks three-and-half years post shaadi & abundant advice  given to the unmaried friends, I’m qualified to give shaadi gyan.

So the topics I could choose from, are as follows:

  • My big fat Indian wedding
  • What “not to do” while planning a wedding!
  • My dream wedding – Simple or lavish?
  • Traditions I love/hate in Indian weddings
  • My wedding shopping spree!

My Big fat Indian Wedding: The wedding planning happened over 3 cities, crazy working schedules, leave issues at work (for me), dengue (the Hujband had dengue right before the wedding), my mom did the sari shopping in Cal completely (I only chose the wedding sari after my mom coerced me to) while I did the interesting part of wedding shopping in Bombay and MIL did the rest of the shopping in Delhi, while the Hujband was only told to book the tickets to 7 fro Delhi and Cal (So he books 6 tickets from Delhi to Cal and 6 tickets back…he forgot to book my ticket from Cal to Delhi till it was loudly & pointedly brought to his notice by his sister). Did I mention we had the pre-shaadi & shaadi in Cal and the reception in Gurgaon. We had 2 pandits (Bong & Punjabi) who kept trying to outdo each other and made us sit in front the blazing fire for ages till the Hujband quietly whipped out a couple of 500 ka notes & gave it to the pandits. trust me the rest of the ceremony was wrapped up in 20 minutes flat.

What I do actually want to talk about are the Traditions I love/hate in Indian weddings.

Dislikes:

  • The cost of hosting a typical Indian wedding
  • Inviting the entire world and his family
  • The umpteen relatives all throwing their respective tantrums – FROM BOTH SIDES
  • The “gifts” given to the groom’s family & friends (I recently attended one where a fully loaded latest model Honda City was proudly displayed by both parties at the reception venue)
  • The 3 hours where the couple is made to sit before the scared fire while the havan goes on (I like Mallu weddings that way…blink & you miss it)
  • The thousands of myriad rituals and dare you miss on anyone for the fear of offending anyone from either side (more so in a cross cultural wedding)
  • Having to invite all & sundry even if you haven’t met them ever before in your life
  • The bowing down by the girl’s family before the groom like they’r doing the girl’s family a favour

Likes (Loves actually):

  • The food (especially in a Bong wedding)
  • The entire family coming together (especially if you come from a big family like mine)
  • The masti, mazak, naach-gaana, hanging out with cousins, ganging up & taking the poor bakra/ bakri’s case
  • Getting to wear my saris
  • Meting old friends & making new ones
  • Getting to visit new cities & towns
  • Experiencing the different cultures & traditions that Indians have to offer (For instance did you know that in Assamese, the MIL puts sindoor ont he bride before the wedding)
  • National integration (especially in my family) and each new member will come up with superstitions & traditions from his/ her part of the country & trying them all
  • Taking the case of new members and making sure they’r welcomed (and that’s my job mostly since I’m a sister in a family with alot of brothers of marriageable age)
  • Meeting grandparents and hearing old old stories retold time and again with a new detail everytime
  • The catching up & the bonding sessions with cousins (this time in Cal we cousins bonded over daaru in Oly Pub :P) and grandparents
  • Hearing the old stories of how the entire family used to get together in the summer vacations at the ancestral home and 5 kgs of rice would be cooked every single day
  • Being told how much I am like my mother/ my grandmother/ my great grandmother
  • Whacking old heirloom saris from grandmoms, getting them polished & wearing them with a modern twist
  • The traditions we create on our own
  • Actually understanding why we have certain traditions

Yup Indian weddings are fun; and courtesy our entire extended khaandaans & the gaana-bajaana & khaana-peena, they all are BIG FAT INDIAN WEDDINGS in their own way.

All you have to do is blog about one or more of the topics mentioned hereinabove.

There are no fixed rules for content of posts. Anything goes as long as it is fun and original. Just use your imagination!!!!

What’s in it for you?

  • The best blog entry wins Rs 3000 worth of free credit on 99labels.
  • Second prize: Rs 1000 worth of free credit on 99labels.
  • Two 3rd prizes: Rs. 500 worth of free credit on 99labels.

And furthermore, you get Rs 100 worth of credit when you sign-up and an additional Rs 500 if any of your referrals buy from our site!

Here’s how to participate:

  1. Become a member of 99labels (If you are not a member already) by clicking on the referral link at the bottom of this post. (You get Rs 100 worth of credit free to shop!) .
    1. Create a log-in preferably using the email id attached with your blog. This is to protect the anonymity of some bloggers as the referral link (read rule 2) displays your email-id.
  2. Post your referral link on the post (This means that whoever becomes a member clicking on the link gets Rs 100, and whenever you referral buys an item you get Rs 500). To find your referral link
    1. Log in on www.99labels.com
    2. Click on “Invite friends” on the top menu.
    3. Go to bottom of page and look for “Copy and paste your personal invitation link” and paste the link at the bottom of your post
    4. Copy and paste all the rules in your post.
    5. Leave a link to your post in the comments section of the contest page of 99labels http://blog.99labels.com/2010/10/25/wedding-week-blogging-contest/.
    6. Copy and paste this image at the end of the post and the category under which you have posted.
    • Multiple entries are welcome.
    • You can repost old blog entries as well, as long as they are original.
    • If you don’t have a blog, you can write as note on facebook instead! Just make sure to leave us a link in the comments section!
  3. 99labels wedding week blogging contest

    Last date : 8th November, 2010

    Other Rules

    Shoot your queries at marketing@99labels.com

    So what are you waiting for?? Go post na 😛

    Everyone wins!

    My referral invite : http://www.99labels.com/v1/Become-Member.aspx?re=supriya.maulick@gmail.com

    Topic : Traditions I love/hate in Indian weddings.

Written by SupMM

November 4, 2010 at 11:42 am

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Getting over a one & half month weekend!!!

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We have some news people….we return to the world of the earning & employed tomorrow. We are no longer the Great Unemployed from 13.09.2010 onwards. My one and half month weekend comes to an end. Getting severe Monday morning blues. Also a little bit of excitement & nervousness in equal parts. There is the excitement of joining somewhere new – new challenges, new people, a fresh start. There is also the nervousness of moving out of my comfort zone, moving into a whole different setup from what I am used to, the expected politics, leading a new team, the people etc.

I am glad I took this time out for myself and regained some of what I had lost out working crazy hours and practically no weekends. It took a severe toll on my health, apart from the fact that I had not had a proper break of more than 4-5 days at a stretch. I spent some good time with my parents in Calcutta and when I got back to Gurgaon, I came down with a regular cold & cough which left me feeling extremely weak & listless, despite the rest and care that I took.  It took me quite a while to bounce back. I see another friend of mine who has been put on a compulsory 2 week bed rest by the doctors because her body has completely broken down from the stress, work pressure & long irregular hours. I don’t want to be there at the age of 27. I spent lots of time with the Hujband. And I learnt that being sincere towards one’s work always pays in the long run but there is a line I need to draw somewhere between work & life. I have enjoyed this period of doing aboslutely nothing & whiling away days. I did some bit of cooking but mostly spent time with myself. I think I am my own best company. Yes I know that sounds narcisstic. But its a fact. It took some courage to quit my job without another job in hand. But i didn’t regret it for even one moment. (Except the part where I couldn’t shop as I had to cut down on my frivolous expenditure).

The Hujband took me out to celebrate the day I signed the papers. I also shopped finally after ages. I bought two t-shirts & two formal shirts. Oh! And neither of the shirts are white or black & white. I have no idea what non-formal Indian formals are like. I have only bought white/ black & white suits for the past four years. Currently my entire work  wear is black & white. I am looking forward to wearing coloured formals. And having a 5 day week. And regular working hours. We rounded off the super long month & half weekend with a rocking party to bring in the Hujband’s 33rd birthday. Or as he puts it he is 16 years old with 17 years experience 😛

So its back to work for me tomorrow.

 

Written by SupMM

September 12, 2010 at 8:36 pm

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Sue Me!!! I Am Selfish!!!

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Ever since I have decided to take a sabbatical, I have had people wondering about whether we’r starting a family and if we are, then getting upset because we haven’t told them about it. I have had random people message me, ping me on FB and call me to ask how many months along am I. How weird and how rude is that? They jumped to their own conclusions and think its rude when I get offended. What strated as a joke has snowballed into something else all together. How difficult is is to understand that I have taken some time off for myself – to sleep, eat, cook, bake, read, write, do up my house, take driving lessons, learn a new language. I know most people don’t generally take some time off right when their career starts peaking, but I did it. I was kind of freaked out at thinking I hadn’t really done anything new since I started working. I don’t have kids right now. I do nothing all day if I so choose or I maybe a whirlwind doing twenty things in one day. And no I haven’t taken time off to get pregnant either. The Hujband tells me to enjoy this time because we don’t know when I would ever get time off like this.

If that is selfish, then yes I am selfish. Sue me.

Written by SupMM

September 3, 2010 at 10:25 am

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Its Raining!!! Its Raining!!!

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Heylooo my lovely peoples…I am now back in saddi Dilli (more like rainy Dilli these days). I am pretty thankful that I don’t need to brave the rains and the traffic for sometime.

I got home a couple of days back to a dusty house. And 3 days of both of us being home means it  gets messy all over again. Oh and did I mention that I got home and 2 days later…Wham. I have a cold, sinus, bodyache & fever. I was pretty much sleeping all day yesterday. I decided to venture out to run a couple of errands & pick up a couple of non-white formal (all my office wear is either black or white or black b& white. For colour I have grey & beige) shirts, but the rain made me turn back home. I didn’t want to risk gettting wet in the rain and getting even more unwell.

Wahhhh!!! I miss home. Getting back was a bittersweet feeling – on one hand I was happy to be home again and meeting the Hujband after 26 days; and on the other I was already missing home – my Cal home. Oh and I made good use of my sabbatical – one of my stories is going to be published in Chicken Soup for the Indian Friend’s Soul. And now I shall go indulge one of my longtime dreams – to be home on a rainy day & enjoy some pakoras & coffee & a good book & movie (Yup I do it all together – I am a Gemini after all). I read the book when the movie drags or gets boring you see. Aaachoooo!!! Okay I sooo000 need my hot coffee. And all of you slaving away I shall remember you all while doing so.

PS: Hujband just called. He decided to return home because of the crazy traffic & picked up a bucket from KFC. Pakoras adjourned. List tomorrow for same purpose 😛

 

Written by SupMM

August 19, 2010 at 12:03 pm

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I am a Brave Girl!!!

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This post is dedicated to all those wives who spend long lonely nights when their respective  husbands are traveling (No you can get your eyebrows back down again. This is not THAT kind of a post. Its a family blog).

The story starts with the Hujband off on one of his tours again and yours truly getting bored with all the stupid nonsensical stuff on the idiot box suddenly remembering that one of her library books still remained unread. So what if its a murder mystery? So what if its a big house and the schoolteacher’s favourite sound – that of pindrop silence prevails when the idiot box is switched off? So what if its a duplex and the slightest sound on the ground floor can be heard on the first floor and one is too chicken lazy tired to come see what’s it all about. Must be from the other house.

So being the environmentally conscious person that yours truly is, all the lights on the ground floor are dutifully switched off (all but one so as to ensure that yours truly who loves all her shins and ankles and calves doesn’t bang into something when she comes down the next morning in a zombie-like state to open the door for the maid) and move with shawl and ipod to the first floor. Oops ipod is completely discharged. And the charger is on the ground floor. Damn we will just read have to without any music then. So we start reading THE BOOK. Read about the disappearance of a character. Then the first gruesome murder. The references to black magic. Quietly check the clock. OMG its 11:05!! Time to sleep(its a separate issue that I generally sleep around midnight). Again, being the environmentally conscious person that we are, we switch off the light and get into the razai. Then we toss. Then turn. Then straighten the razai. Then increase the fan speed. Then get back into the razai. Then toss. Try calling the Hujband who doesn’t answer. Then change the pillow. Go to the loo. Have water. Pick up some random clothes lying around. Then finally go down and get some chocolate from the fridge and read a Mills & Boon for about half an hour. Man & woman meet. Sparks both verbal and otherwise fly. Misunderstandings galore. Then the three magic words are spoken and all izz well as Aamir so eloquently put it. Finally we sleep.

On the way back from work the next day, we resolve to not read THE BOOK till the Hujband is back home. Get home and read a non-offending Shopaholic book for sometime and quietly furtively promise self to only read a few pages from THE BOOK. Get engrossed. Read about the  gruesome murder of a second character. Then read how the cops frame the innocent boyfriend who  escapes the cops and decides to prove his innocence. Hujband calls. Talk to him for a few minutes and quickly hang up. Getting spooked out but continue reading and finally succumb to sleep & tiredness. Its a totally besides the fact that  all the lights in the house are on.

We wake up at 6:15 am the next morning for the maid. Steal a glance at THE BOOK. Fortify oneself with a good mug of steaming hot and strong coffee. John Denver in the background. Windowns open and light streaming in. THE BOOK really doesn’t seem all that scary anymore.

Written by SupMM

February 24, 2010 at 2:48 pm

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*Poof* *Unpoof*

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That’s the sound effects as I do my disappearing & reappearing act on the blogworld.

I shall offer up the usual excuses of Work & Family committments.

Work more so, beacuse of the stress and strain. Reporting to a new boss. The endless work. The deadlines. Impossible demands of clients. There was a time when I used to love my work. I think I still enjoy my work. But I just can’t put in my 100% anymore. I just can’t. I feel the wear and the tear. I feel like there is a burden on my back all the bloody time. I have leave, but find it next to impossible to take more than a day or two off. I haven’t been home for longer than a week in almost 3 years now. I find myself offering excuses to friends rather than making a plan and then having to cancel it yet again.

This time though, I put my foot down for the first time and took 4 days off for my sister’s wedding (that’s a luxury for me since the Courts are open). Spent time with myself. With my mom. With my grandmom. With my huuuge family. Went shopping. Just sat in the winter sun and relaxed with my cousins. Wore lots of saris and cribbed about wearing them. Preened like the proverbial peacock when I got the compliments. Especially when I was told that I looked just like my mom when I wear a sari (she is the family beauty and I’m the also-ran :P). Chatted with my grandmother. Did a disappearing act with cousins to go have puchkas at CR Park. Hogged on maach bhaaja (fish fry). And batter fried fish. And fish roll. And maacher kalia (fish curry).And doi maach (fish cooked with curd). And shorshe maach (fish cooked in mustard). And chingri malai curry (prawns cooked with coconut milk).And galda chingri (the biggest tastiest prawns). And kasha mangsho (a mutton preparation). With luchi. And patali gur (date jaggery avaialble only in winters).And tomato chaatni (tomato chutney – no Bong meal is complete without chutni which is eaten as a course in itself). And rosogolla in nolen gurer ros (Rasgullas soaked melted date jaggery). And adda. And cried when I had to wear flats instead of the lovely pencil  heels I had originally planned on wearing with my saris. And showed everyone my sandals & they all dutifully ooohed and aahed over them. Wore a backless blouse with traditional silk sari and scandalised my mother. And she told me to cover up with my shawl because it was cold. And my grandmother told her daughter that when young ladies wear are maaroing tashan, they don’t feel cold (I think she knew about the shots I had taken :P). And made endless cups of chair. And danced complete chhapri (I have no idea how to translate that in English, pliss help if you can) songs with everyone watching. And danced on ‘Desi Girl’ with my two year old nephew. Watched another little nephew’s haathe khodi (This is when the child first picks up a pencil/ chalk and is initiated into the lifelong process of learning and is always done on Saraswati Pujo – The Goddess of Learning & Knowledge). And straightened hair as the baraat (groom’s party) arrived. And switched off the fan & whipped off the razais from two 6 footers because they had to be woken up. And got threatened by them later. And had a fight with my mom because I wanted to wear a cream and gold sari. And watched my gandmom shed a few tears & memories since I had worn her mother’s sari. And lots of adda. And my grandaunt wondering who would get married next so that the whole family would meet again. Which is the cue for all those of marriageable age to disappear. And me to change the topic. Which unfortunately moved to when we planned to start a family. Which was my cue to disappear. And for another cousin to then change the topic. Who disappeared when asked why they were not planning on a second child. And we saw all the old ladies laughing away and almost falling off their chairs as they had basically been taking the case of all the grandkids.

Oh well, you guys get the idea now!!!

Time for me to disappear again….*POOF*

PS: Triewd to upload a few photos, but there’s some problem. Will try uploading them later.

Written by SupMM

February 8, 2010 at 3:49 pm

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with 20 comments

I have been really looking forward to the Monday for a change. Now ask why?

Because my mommy is coming to town today. And because I’m on leave from 19th – 22nd for my cousin’s wedding 🙂

So I’m going to be getting dressed in saris and hogging on yummy Bong food for the next few days. We youngsters overrode my uncle till he agreed to a party on 20th (rather than a sedate ‘gaan-bajna’ session that bongs usually have – we’v hijacked it to a fullon dhol-dhamaka dance session) and i’v prmised top make everyone dance, including my grandmother.

However, I sprained my ankle a few dyas back so don’t know how much i’l be able to dance myself 😦

And I also can’t wear too much of heels, so i’l have to buys some flats 😦

Anyway i’l still look gooood 😀

Written by SupMM

January 18, 2010 at 3:00 pm

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