Title Intentionally Left Blank

Happy Ambedkar Jayanti. Its a gazetted holiday. Mostly everyone is enjoying their siesta at home on this mid-week chutti.

And I’m wading through 600+ pages of documents. Life is bloody unfair.

My conference this evening has been simply adjourned postponed to tomorrow. I don’t even feel like studying the documents now. But if I don’t do it now, I’m sooooo going to repent tomorrow. I need to get back to wading through those 600+pages of documents. Like I said life is unfair. The boss has also not come though he’s been announcing he’s going to be coming today.

Ok enough procrastination. I royally need to get down to those 600+ pages of documents now. I’m going to be cross-eyed. I demand combat pay fo9r getting cross eyed. As you must have figured, I’m writing this post just so I want have to study those 600+ pages. Can I not outsource my work? I need a junior whom I can bully. My juniors say I’m an easy senior since I don’t usually kick ass so when I do kick ass they know its something earth-shattering. In our team, I’m like the ‘dad’ who raises his voice only when its something major. My colleague is the ‘mom’ who pulls them up as and when required.

So I am now going to get back to my back-breaking donkey work and you’l be seeing a cross-eyed me next time. Ok fine I’m getting back to my 600+ pages now (I stopped paginating after I crossed 600).

In the past when there has been a blast, I have mourned all those who died though they were strangers to me.

However, two people who died in the German Bakery blasts were people I knew – the brother (Ankit Dhar) & sister (Anindyee Dhar) from Calcutta. I don’t say that I knew them very well, but I did know them. They stayed close to my house and I’d see them every now and then when I went home and we’d exchange a “Ki cholche?” (Wassup).

Its sad that they died an innocent death on an evening out and the cowards who did this are hiding while our authorities are busy shifting the blame. Its sad that this happened in a place which I would frequently visit when I studied in Pune. Its sad because one of my close friends who was in Pune on work visited German Bakery exactly twenty four hours before the blast. Its sad because we again have no answers. Its sad because these blasts will happen again and again innocent people will die while the authorities are busy passing the buck.

No, Arjun and me did not have a fight to begin with.

Just that the firm with which I work has been merged with another firm.

One of our major worries is that we’r the most unconcerned office folks ever. The only make-up which we do use on a regular basis – sunscreen, kajal & lipgloss (if we’r going for a meeting). We just about manage to keep ourselves looking presentable. We’r not shabby, but we’r not really particular about our dressing. We ask each other what’s the ocassion if someone wears something new. Most people in corporate firms are very tip-top - the warpaint & the blow-dried hair & the 4 inch heels – the works basically.

We were just having a major roundtable discussion on how we will need to hold our own with our new colleagues, which means getting up an hour earlier to don the warpaint & blowdry the hair (whatever little I have left). I need to dig out the old stuff which I had bought/ got during my marriage. Arjun wants to know what goop I’v put on my face on the red-letter day that I do wear any.  Aiiyyyooo…I’l need to learn how to start applying eye-liner & masacara and other stuff which I barely know about. Hellppppppp!!!!!!!!

So after my cribbing on my previous post about my weighty issues, Roohas got a few of us together and we have a new blog at Fitness Fervor. We’r going to be motivating each other so that finally gives someone the right to officially kick my butt when it comes to these issues

On an aside, I just realized I am officially like all growed up (nope that’s not a typo) now. I have been married for almost two years now, my maid does not try to tell me how to do stuff anymore, I can cook and can call people over for dinner with about a day’s notice, I talk all growed-up stuff with my school friends when we meet like job security, work satisfaction, husbands, investments, family functions, maid problems (nope we DO NOT and WILL NOT discuss saas-bahu serials), upcoming marriages of friends, kids of friends who have had them, we check our diaries when we can meet up and schedule lunches/ coffees/ drinks/ dinners, we ask “Are you busy/ Is this a good time?” when we call each other, we are used to our lunches/ coffees/ drinks/ dinners getting canceled at the last minutes cuz “Work has come up”, we plan our weekends at least 10 days advance, we got parlours and get facials/ pedicures/ manicures while reading the latest Cosmo, we have chairs with wheels (For me as a kid, they were the ultimate sign of office), we seriously discuss buying our own house.

Yup I’m all growed up now. It’s still sinking in. Sometimes I still feel like I am 6 years old especially when I go home, and I find that my favourite desert has been made and I lick the kadhai in which it was made with my fingers like I used to.

Sone Ki Thaali Main Jona Parosa
Are, Sone Ki Thaali Main Jona Parosa
Haan, Sone Ki Thaali Main Jona Parosa
Are, Khaye Gauri Ka Yaar Balam Tarse Rang Barse
Holi Hai!!!
O, Rang Barse Bheege Chunar Wali, Rang Barse …

Launga Ilaichi Ka, Are Launga Ilaichi Ka
Launga Ilaichi Ka? Haan
Are Launga Ilaichi Ka Beeda Lagaya
Haan, Launga Ilaichi Ka Beeda Lagaya
Chabe Gauri Ka Yaar, Balam Tarse
Holi Hai!!!
O, Rang Barse Bheege Chunar Wali, Rang Barse …

Are, Bela Chameli Ka Sez Bhichhaya
Bela Chameli Ka, Sez Bhichhaya
Are, Bela Chameli Ka Sez Bhichhaya
Haan, Bela Chameli Ka Sez Bhichhaya
Soye Gauri Ka Yaar, Balam Tarse
Holi Hai!!!
O, Rang Barse Bheege Chunar Wali, Rang Barse

Tomorrow, we’v invited a bunch of friends over for Holi. Arjun and me are now hunting for pichkaris (which don’t cost 500 bucks per piece and a dholak). We’v got the music, gujiyas and bhang in place.

On an aside, I felt a 7 month baby (still inside his/her mommy’s tummy) play football. Its awesome to feel the baby move and kick. I thought it would be weird but its just soooooooo awesome. And to watch the baby’s mature elder sister (all of three and a half years old) say “My chota baby. Move your hand. Only my chota baby”…..awwww.

Anyway happy holi folks. I don’t know if I’l be able to post till Monday cuz I’m headed to the Land of Mishti – CALCUTTA – on Friday morning . I’v been terrorising the office folks that I’m going to be giving them hourly updates of what I have eaten and they’v treatened to lynch me if I don’t get back some mishti for them

I feel torn in two sometimes – between my professional and personal lives. I don’t understand where I draw a line between my two lives. Right now, its only Arjun and me, and already I feel torn in two at times. I wonder what I’m going to do when we have kids. If they’r unwell and I have to go to office, I wonder how I’l do it. I know there will be times when I may miss a school function or sports day, but I don’t know how I’l do it. It scares me. When we have kids, I am going to be a SAHM for a couple of years, but then what? I’d go crazy if I gave up work permanently. Who’s going to hire me again after a couple of years? My contemporaries would be ahead of me and so would my juniors. My family would go crazy and disown me if I focussed wholely and solely on them – I’d only end up driving them up the wall a

I love my work. I want kids and a family and the whole works – but it’s the balance thing which is right down scary. How would I draw a line between my personal and professional lives? When would I know when to skip the school function and attend the meeting or when do I postpone the meeting and attend the school function? Wise people tell me that at that time I will have to take a call on the situation and listen to my heart. Knowing me, my heart would be torn in two. How do you do it?